Welcome

Okay, So it's been suggested that I should start a blog, but I wanted to wait until I felt witty and deep to start it.... But, I figured until that happens I'll just start with what I've got.

I don't know where I should start though! I have had a pretty emotionally tough few months and have some crazy social anxiety brewing, so I've been sitting at home alone WAY too much.... waiting for the phone to ring is not a good way to market for my new business or make some new friends....

It all started with a Tom Brown philosophy course. In my little group of 5 I ended up pissing one of the people off by... talking too much? She said I had been talking nonstop and not allowing anyone else's voice to be heard. Which is funny because I am always so careful (neurotically so) to talk just enough, not too much, to not always be first, to not always be last, to always offer just enough but not too much. And still, even with this neurotic attention to the way I interacted, I still managed to piss someone off.

Anyway, since that time I've been struggling with being in groups of people I don't know.... so much that I have to force myself to leave my house. I sit at home and play video games, try to e-mail people to plan going out for coffee or skiing or a hike or ANYTHING..... And then I feel sorry for myself when people don't write back.

Depression is a funny thing. It's a spiral that's so hard to get out of once I get caught there. I joined a choir, started taking cello lessons, joined a study group to explore the work of Bill Plotkin (Soulcraft), and attended some networking events. Even with that I still haven't managed to bring myself out of that spiral.

So, I'll just start an anonymous blog and maybe if I come up with something witty and thought provoking to say, I'll make a public one. Maybe linked to my business. Who knows.

It's spring and I really want to get out and.... start following rivers. Time to go kayak, canoe, tube, whatever. I want to be on the water. Maybe that will get me out of this funk.

Welcome to my blog, I promise it won't always be this depressing!